The past few weeks I’ve had a little bout with insomnia. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night around 4am and toss and turn until my alarm ends my suffering. I’m not sure if it’s because of the heat or our new noisy neighbors, but something is definitely affecting my sleep. While lying awake at night feeling sorry for myself, I named the seven stages of insomnia I experience each night.
- Beginning—Something makes me slowly come out of whatever dream I was having. I throw my blanket off of myself because even though the air conditioner is blasting I am sweating. I try to resist the temptation of my phone, but I give in to sadly see that is only 4 in the morning.
- Denial—Its’ probably the worst part of insomnia because it’s when I realize that I won’t be falling back asleep the rest of the night. No matter how many times I tell myself that I can fall back asleep, I know that it’s a lie. I press my eyelids even tighter together as if to force sleep to come.
- Distraction—In the middle of forcing myself to count sheep or think happy thoughts, I realize that I have to pee. Even though I have only been asleep for about 5 hours, it’s an emergency. I roll over, telling myself that I don’t have to pee and I’ll fall asleep soon.
- Defeat—I get out of bed and use the bathroom. At this point, there is no getting back to sleep.
- Frustration—I take a few sips of water, pace back and forth and little, and climb back into bed. I know they say the light from your iPhone is bad for sleep, but I read some articles anyway, wishing my eyelids to droop.
- Panic—I start to panic. I won’t get enough sleep and then I will be tired the whole next day. The day will be ruined and I won’t be able to focus at work. I try to calm down thinking I’ll take a nap when I get home, but then I worry that if I take a nap, it’ll affect my sleep the next night. Endless scenarios play out in my head.
- Acceptance—I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. I am now wide-awake at 4:30 am and there is nothing to do but relax and wait for the alarm to go off.
This happened to me almost every night the past few weeks. I recently started making my air conditioner colder at night and that seemed to help a bit. Hopefully by next week I’ll be back to my normal self who can sleep until 11am no problem.
Besides my insomnia, these past few weeks have been pretty uneventful. Kayleigh and I went to a bonfire to celebrate Lag Baomer last Monday, I ate at an amazing restaurant called Bread Story which centers all their dishes around bread, great for the carb lover I am, and went to a used bookstore in Tel Aviv that sells a ton of English books. I also celebrated Cinco de Mayo by somehow finding good Mexican food in Israel. Yesterday we had our last educational seminar of the program, which really made it feel like things are coming to an end.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom!!!!!